From salt of the earth to crème de la crème

In one week this summer I went from salt of the earth to crème de la crème; from service provider to, practically, service abuser.

I went from an environment where a friend can very well grab your behind and lovingly tell you that your ass has a remarkable resemblance to that of a pig’s, to a world where ‘hello’ can feel worse than a slap in the face and a mere sideway look is an insult.

Starting from the bottom, or perhaps the beginning, there are a few questions awakened in this, rather traumatic, transit. What sets these worlds apart? What do they require for acceptance? And how does one really fit in?

One could say value is the most significant difference between these worlds, monetary as well as moral. At the “bottom” what you do and how you do it carries most weight, whereas, taking a few steps up the class ladder, its who you do, or rather who you know, and how much you spend upholding this relation that is more relevant.

In order to be accepted (anywhere) you need to have the right accessories; mental or material. Granted, the battle of status through material attributes exists everywhere, but in the riches as opposed to in the rags it defines and validates their existence. I own therefore I exist. And without the right accessories you can kiss initial respect goodbye.
In the ‘underworld’ the best thing you can do is sharpen your elbows, because there you need to deserve your position, playing a completely different social game. There the attributes you need to have play more at the qualities you own. Nevertheless, a sharp tongue, a sarcastic sense of humour or whatever may be required, might gain you respect in one place and be unfavourable in another, it’s all about picking up the tone.

Getting in the context and fitting in can be more complicated still. It requires some measure of likeness and sense of equality between the individuals. When it all boils down, we all search to identify ourselves, at least slightly, with our fellowmen and especially with those we aspire to have as friends. We look to feel at ease in our surroundings; we search for shared values, to be accepted without having to adapt excessively and to fit in and feel comfortable.

Between rags and riches there is a large grey-zone, where you are free to navigate. And often there is no evident choice. When you don’t lack anything nor live in abundance, when physical, mental and spiritual pathways seem padded and protected and your survival is unthreatened; you appear to be moving eternally between the worlds, searching for those spots in the grey-zone where your social survival is guaranteed.

The paradox, and the advantage, is often that the more you move, the more you learn to adapt and find yourself in every location and feel secure. Because when you are in the habit of moving from salt of the earth and crème de la crème and back again, all you really need to pack… is your comfort.