Excuse me, forgive myself

Apologies and excuses are a funny thing. They come in all shapes and forms; sincere, rude, sudden and even long-overdue.

There are those ‘little’ excuses that you politely (or reflexively) blurt out when you bump into someone on the street, or while trying to make way through a crowded room. The pardon me’s that are pure politeness.

Then there are those excuses that come from deep inside, from knowing that someone has been hurt by you; your words or your actions. Where you are not looking to justify your deed but rather rid yourself of that ounce of guilt which only ‘I’m sorry’ can accomplish.

And then finally there are those excuses that are more related to your own regrets than anything else. Like that party that you didn’t go to and you know no one holds a grudge against you for it. Nevertheless you need to apologise; if nothing else, then to get the external confirmation that it’s fine; nothing's won, nothing's lost. Where you say you are sorry, but what you really are trying to do is to forgive yourself.