Cleaning coma

This morning I felt like four months of stress just dropped on my head. Yesterday I had my last exam, and already towards the evening I started feeling like someone had seriously done my head in, to the point where I felt dizzy and started doubting my ability to walk down even the widest staircase.

Having woken up at ten o’clock this morning, it took me until 14.30 to actually set foot outside the bedroom door, or on the floor in general for that matter (and it’s ok for me to do that! Wow! Can’t believe it…).

I managed to get through this semester, flues, bronchitis, infections and all, and now I just felt like….blahhh, empty. It was a rough one, towards the end it started to feel like the more things I tried to put into my head, the more came out of it, is there such a thing as knowledge retention, honestly?? Indeed, there does come a point where you are so tired that nothing feels relevant anymore, its saddening really, to feel like what you do loses meaning.

Anyhow, once I actually got up, I got to making some food for myself and my boyfriend who was coming home (very hungry) between his shifts. That physical action alone took the life out of me, and as I was fairly unmotivated to force myself to do anything (because…I say it again: I didn’t have to!) I went back to bed and watched ridiculous episodes of series I’ve never seen before… as if in a coma.

Feeling that my day needed to have some kind of purpose, I started cleaning. Organized my papers and stowed them neatly in the shelf, I even put away my neon markers and retired my calendar, and THEN I got to cleaning, bedroom, bathroom, changing sheets and towels. Still feeling like in a coma….fairly detached from what I was doing. I EVEN ironed things that had been lying around for at least two months (because I never had the time, and my boyfriend, bless him, although he does a lot of things, does not iron).

And now I am actually wondering whether this was a cleansing coma, rather than a cleaning coma, admittedly I do feel just a tad more ready to take on the world again… Hello vacation!